The Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has announced a radical plan to revive the flagging fortunes of his party and improve the Liberal Democrat’s electoral prospects by pledging to nail his scrotum to the floor if his party wins the general election in 2015.
In an interview on the BBC’s This Morning show, Mr Clegg listed 5 major policies the Lib Dems would implement if they win the next election:
- All elected Liberal Democrat MPs and party peers will be made to have “I must not break my written pledges” tattooed in large red or black Gothic lettering across their buttocks.
- Taxpayers will be given a cast-iron guarantee that if Liberal Democrat treasury minister Danny Alexander ever so much as thinks of agreeing with George Osborne on any subject ever again, he will be made to write it out 12 times on 12 sheets of crisp new A4 paper, and…
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