“IDS offers new contraceptive”

Flibbertigibbet News

Ian Duncan Smith is to offer a revolutionary new contraceptive to Britain’s poor. Despite the hefty ₤500 price tag, the “benefit cap” promises to reduce reproduction among the working-class.



In addition to its birth control properties, the “cap” can guarantee a lowering in obesity by significantly cutting incidents of eating. Housing costs will drop, as skinnier tenants will require smaller rental properties to match their slender frames. Even unemployment will be halved, as a malnourished population will only have the energy to job share.

A spokeswoman for the Department for Work and Pensions said: “The Secretary of State has been experimenting with a range of fertility control methods and the cap is easily the most pleasurable. You can’t expect the Coalition to simply pull out this far into Government and they are certainly not going to finish themselves off. Besides which, we enjoying screwing the public so much that abstinence…

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About thepositivevoice

We originally set out to advocate and campaign for and on behalf of people living with HIV in Greater Manchester. But we chose to slightly change our name by adding beyond. Therefore our name is Greater Manchester & Beyond of People Living With HIV & AIDS. Cause there are many issues that affects people living with HIV we now look ate other health and social care issues that will affect people living with HIV in their everyday lives. For the purpose of this site we have chosen a strap-line name hence our user name here - this is of course "thepositivevoice". The reason for this is often the issues that affect us can be quite daunting and discriminatory to our very existence. So whatever negative we hear and see - we endeavour to turn that into a positive. There are many examples where a negative has turned into a positive and one of those example is the term "Queer" - well that is also quite interesting as some people in the lesbian and gay community don't like that very word - some have decided to own it. Therefore any person that calls another person (the example here) queer - some gay people will reply yes we are. As time moves on and I as the author of this blog - information will be never-ending. So watch this space.
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